| im an idiot |
[17 Oct 2005|09:51pm] |
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mood |
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 dirty |
] |
&& my frog is shitting.
ew.
lol
im sooo like...
blah.
its not even funny.
maybe because it sucked.
hahahhaaa
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[04 Oct 2005|05:03pm] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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becuase of you. |
] |
my god.
nope.
he wont help me now.
ive straight up fucked myself over, and i dont know why.
im a loser, cuz i had the chance, the perfect chance time and time again, to take the damn sat's, stop ditching, and taken school seriously.
i culd have applied to colleges, and gone through the anticipation of knowing if i got in or not in the spring.
now ive taken away the thing ive looked forward to my entire life, and settled for less.
ive ruined my future.
singlehandedly ruined. my. future.
i KNOW im capable of so much more that just elco or any other community college, but ive fucked it up, and now i will never get to prove it to anyone.
maybe thats why i feel like shit all the time.
because im a damn dissapointment.
im half as good at whatever i do, than anyone else.
i actually have NOTHING to call my own.
im just...average.
im an average person.
and the worst part is, i made myself that way.
there truly is nothing really special about me.
and now if there is....
i wont care.
i feel soooo bad for letting my parents and my entire family down, and not starting off at a four year university like we all had planned.
i
am
a
loser.
ha.
but i swear to god.
in two years...
i am fucking going to the east coast, loyola, or UCSD.
and becoming a counseler.
if i dont do that.
i will quite literelly be good for nothing.
i promise that as a goal to myself.
if you love me...
please help me when i attempt to try to give up on this too.
ive got to get my shit together. and enjoy my last year of cruising and taking it easy.
cuz its not about proving to others what i can achive...
now its about proving it to myself.
ive hit low, and now im ready for the real game.
shit.
its gunna suck.
<3
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| There's nothing wrong with being lonely |
[15 Sep 2005|07:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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lonely |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Spill Canvas: Lust a Prima Vista |
] |
In one fell swoop it became clear to me,
that I despise you entirely,
but the good news is I'm gonna keep you around
And so your lust is just convenient now
And all at once it became clear to me,
that you're allergic to honesty
And you don't even have a friend around
And so my lust is just convenient now
Crack open a bottle of red
Let's toast to this here bed
Offer up your hand
My one night, two month, three year stand
I'm on my knees,
but so are you
Unfortunately for the wrong reasons
I keep incessantly believing that you're pure,
but you know it's not true
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[12 Sep 2005|03:59pm] |
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mood |
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 cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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aladdin. |
] |
im running off of pretty much NO sleep.
which shuld be fun.
fridayyyy went to see a friend..he wasnt there so went to claires house and watched the beautiful creation which is The Sweetest Thing. wonderful movie.
saturday/sunday: pollo inka, dancing, truth or dare, vodka(pretty much all me) drunk hispanic men "dancing", litttle mermaid, everyone sleeping except me carlos and becky, rafa the pillow stealer, and grease.
the truth finally came out.
and now IM not the one acting wierd. hah. nigger.
i wish weekends lasted longer
:[
and i miss people.♥
pictures up soon.
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| pffsh. |
[05 Sep 2005|01:57am] |
| [ |
mood |
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content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Blondie. |
] |
you.
fucking.
twat.
today was fun and hot and then sad.
oh well.
alls i know is
my mood ring is half green and half blue.
which is a good thing.
and i think.
that even tho IT is nothing compared to me...
i dont need the stupid fag.
its just an ego thing.
hah.
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| miss independent |
[02 Sep 2005|07:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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since u been gone |
] |
kacy's ass smells.
and NEVER
and i mean NEVVEERRRRR eat at pachangas.
ew.
woot for vynil.
♥
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| push push. |
[30 Aug 2005|09:43am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
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duh. |
] |
Pride can stand a thousand trials,
The strong will never fall,
But watching stars without you,
My soul cried.
Heaving heart is full of pain,
oh, oh, the aching.
'Cause I'm kissing you
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| jesssuusss |
[22 Aug 2005|06:26pm] |
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mood |
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 nervous |
] |
how do u tell one of ur good friends u cant hang out with him anymore?
goshthissucks.
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| ehhyooo. |
[19 Aug 2005|04:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
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britney spears. |
] |
1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.
( my answers )
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| letss goooo |
[19 Aug 2005|11:04am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
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willy wonka. |
] |
1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a flavor/color of jello to wrestle with you in. (Maybe.)
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written!
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| hmm. |
[03 Aug 2005|11:05pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
] |
so im a working gal now.
lets see how long i last.
♥
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[01 Aug 2005|03:00pm] |
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mood |
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 refreshed |
] |
summertime
when the living is easy.
<3
only its not really.
i hate not being able to tell sumone how i feel.
:[
oh well.
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| holy shit. |
[13 Jul 2005|01:46pm] |
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mood |
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ecstatic |
] |
AP chem: 3 ( I FUCKING PASSED THAT SHIT AHHH!!)
AP spanish: 4 (meh..not a 5 :[ hahaha)
AP english (the devil...): 4
im estatic.
nothing can bring me down at the moment.
:]
<33333
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| tiiinkkinnnggg |
[05 Jul 2005|07:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 hopeful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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drive you home. |
] |
im back.
yesum.
and i must say there are A LOT Of wierd ppl at elco. i realized many things about life and people while sitting on a bench observing everyone
*some people should be arrested for what they wear
*high heals are VERY annonying...damn clicking noise..
*some people need to not have the confidence to talk to girls
*other people do :]
*its a VERY small world
*life is very confusing
*and u need a lot of direction
*or else u end up wandering around asking random people how to do things...putting your life in their hands
* sometimes, you need to sit down, and appreciate how beautiful this world is.(it was a VERY pretty sky today)
so i was pretty right when i said that life happenes exactly the way it should be. the bumps in the roads are tests...sometimes you fail and fall and hurt urself..and even worse, others.
but you fall to learn and get back up again. other people hurt you, and, in one case, boys will use you, but hurt is inevitable. if there was not such thing as hurt, we wuld never know about happines and be able to tell the difference. ive let myself down, and even worse...i let others down. but its a life process, and from my tears i will learn, that sometimes.. you just cant fix things and go back into the past.
but i'll be better. and hopefully, others will too.
the sky certainly is blue.
and the damn leaves are green.
and my heart will soon be warm
like a fucking baked potato.
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